Bad Email.

It was a pleasure have you to attend the training course last week and we hope you have njoyed. Some participants told us that they found it difficult to operate the Seris System.

 

As you know, XXX is an original partner in the software development project, and is thereby operating the beta version which was pre-relasedto a few of the partners so that some feedback could be gathered for elimination of operating system technical issues. Unfortunately, the beta use by the participants has revealed a number of minor problems during the trining course.

 

A meeting was held yesterday to discuss the matter on how we can reslove the problem, and rest assured we have already came up with solutions to the issue. Once again, our sincerest apologies. We look forward in time to have you in our course soon. Please contact Carey Lim if you have any further concerns.

=================================================================================

 

I recieved this horrible email quite some time ago and it was so amusing, that was why I still kept it. Before I begin, let me explain the purpose of this email. This email was sent to all participants by the organizers of this IT training course, which I attended some time ago. The reason for this email was for them to apologize for the faulty operating system that they provided us with during the training sessions, resulting in disruption of the learning process for many.

 

Firstly, there are a lot of gross spelling and language errors in this short email. The guy who drafted out this email obviously did not even bother to conduct a spell check before forwarding this piece of joke to his clients.

 

The writer has displayed courtesy in his language, as he started off the email with a pleasant greeting “It was a pleasure have you to attend the training course last week and we hope you have njoyed.” (the spelling and sentence structure errors aside!).

 

The email is very concise and goes straight to the point. They managed to structure clearly in the email what they want to deliver in three short paragraphs. The first paragraph is a little introduction, followed by the reason for the email, and lastly their apologies and updates of measures taken to resolve the problem. This is well done as it would avoid boring the readers and making them skip the email before even finishing.

 

Coherence is not much of a problem here even though there is quite a lot of information to link. There is also cohesion in the email as connectors are used at the appropriate time to link the sentences. The flow of the content is very smooth and conjunctions such as ‘and’, ‘or’ are used to link up the ideas and information.


Under completeness, it is not very well done in this email as not all relevant information has been provided in the email. The organizers mentioned that a meeting has been held to discuss the issue, and they have already come up with solutions to the problem. It would have been better if more details are provided regarding what has been discussed and some of the measures they plan to take. In this way it would be easier for the email recipients to have a better idea on the progress of the issue.

 

Now it’s my turn to edit and try to get it right. Please do give me some pointers on that!

 

We enjoyed having you at our training course last week and we hope have enjoyed it! However, some of our participants have feedback to us that they experienced difficulties in using our operating system during the course.

As you know, XXX is our partner in the Seris software development project. Their company pre-released the new beta version to a few of the partners so that they could gather feedback to help improve the software. Unfortunately, our users have discovered a number of minor problems in the software.

A meeting was held yesterday to discuss about the issue and the problems related, and we have come up solutions to these problems. Once again, we apologize for any inconvenience caused to our participants, and we look forward to have you in our training courses again. Please contact Carey Lim if you have any further enquires.

 

There, much better.

FUTURE OPIOIDS

I came acoss this website when I was doing my Organic Chemistry lab report today:

Preparation of synthetic white Heroin for street use

 The pure Fentanyl can not be used as is, because it’s much, much too strong and MUST be diluted, else there will be a lot of overdoses!The following procedure gives a white heroin which is the same as very good (30%) street heroin.

100mg of Fentanyl. HCl is dissolved in 2ml of Methanol. Weigh up 10g of Lactose and warm it at about 60-70 deg C into a large dish with a hotplate. Add the methanolic solution of Fentanyl dropwise at regular intervals into the warm Lactose for a good pre-mix . Wait until all the Methanol is evaporated and mix the Lactose-Fentanyl thoroughly. This is crucial because if this is not thoroughly mixed, there will be a part of the Lactose without Fentanyl and part of the Lactose with too much Fentanyl, possibly causing dramatic overdoses!

Now you have a very high quality of street white Heroin.

This type of Heroin was used and sold during a year, and the feedback of the consumers was very good. The consumers were very happy and didn’t want the usual brown Heroin anymore. So be careful, some people (The Mafia and other dealers) will perhaps turn very jealous!

Remember that with 1gr of pure Fentanyl HCl you can make 100gr of very high quality Heroin!

DON’T USE and DON’T SELL pure Fentanyl HCl, this is a very toxic material which can cause many overdoses if not diluted!

(http://opioids.com/fentanyl/synthesis.html)

Wow. Isn’t it amazing what the World Wide Web can offer these days? This text was extracted from a legal site with contents meant for educational purpose.

I love being an Organic Chemist. 

Closet Reader

That’s why they say, LOOK before you bang.

Something funny that made my day, and the tittle tells it all.

It was a lovely sunday morning and the a newly met couple woke up exhausted after a whole night of love making. But the guy got worried after seeing a photograph of another man on the table beside the bed.

Man: Baby, who is that guy in that photo?

Woman: oh honey why you look so worried?

Man: Oh is that your husband?

Woman: no…

Man: ok, your boyfriend?

Woman: hehe nope…

Man: Brother? Cousin?

Woman: hehehe nope i don’t have one..

Man: alright shit don’t tell me he is another of your lover?

Woman: ohh baby you look so cute when your jealous, hehehe..

Man: C’om tell me? I thought you told me last night that you are single?

Woman: yes I’m! That’s the picture of me before I went through surgery.

My apologies if any of you finds that offensive, just something to lighten up the mood in here!

Washboard Abs.

Interpersonal Conflict. Not yet again.

Before I wrote this post I was seriously very tempted to write some conflict that had happened before between my lovely sister and I, but I stopped myself. I thought that would be kind of too cheesy, and believe me I can go on and on and on. Alright so here is one little incident I could relate to you guys can go chew on it!

I have been with a magazine company by the name of ‘EmitAsia Pte Ltd’ for about two years already, and it was is the sole distributor of TIME and FORTUNE magazine in Singapore. I had always been under the same wonderful manager call Jaye. She was an absolute fantastic mentor and salesperson, and it was during this period of time that I had worked in the frontline with her in the sales job, that I felt I had truly matured and learn. Most of my colleagues in EmitAsia were pretty friendly and warm too, we got along well pretty well within that short span of time after I joined the company.

My sales initially during that period of time was good, as being a freshie in that line I was very motivated by the amount of commission that can be drawn in with every subscription deal sealed. I was basically full of enthusiasm about everything, and jumped at all chances during work which I could put myself useful in.

In such a competitive environment, a new part timer, having a superb relationship with the manager and flashing monthly sales stats that far exceed most of the full-timers working there. I don’t know about you, but I definitely smell troubl

Someone was not very happy about my performance. And I don’t think I need to explain further why. A full-timer from another division sales team started to bitch around, throwing false claims that I only managed to accomplish all that because I was receiving tons of help from Jaye. Words started to spread and it was my colleagues from our sales division team whom finally broke that alleged accusation to me. The irony was, when we met in office, she was still able to keep a straight face and talk to me like we are the new BFF in the block.

It was such a shame that the Golden Award 2007 for best actress didn’t go to her. There is this saying “Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.” So I started questioning myself, should I believe what I heard and trust that she had indeed been bitching about me, or just dismiss it as another case of bad communication? You be the judge.

(P.S. Sorry for the late post Mr Blackstone!)